Focus

Last night I was watching tv when out of nowhere (of course I know that it came from some where, It was just a deep hidden resistance i was not aware of) I became worried to the point of being extremely afraid. Afraid of what?.....you name it, and I probably thought it..... I was afraid the car was going to be taken that night, afraid that what I am experiencing is not real or working despite countless "little" things that have manifested and all of the conformations on the "bigger" things........while I was tarding out, I did realize that fear and excitement are the same vibration, just different points of focus. It was a great realization.....but...... it didn't do much at the time with the way I was feeling...... after a few hours of feeling like this I decided I was going to bed and Katie said she was too. We turn out the lights and I am just laying there.....tarding out....I look over at Katie and she has her eyes closed. I stare at her until she can feel it and she opens her eyes.... I gave a little chuckle and said "oh. your awake" and told her I NEED to see something big happen... As soon as I said that I realized that this whole fear episode was nothing more then a self worth issue. Its the same thing as needing other people to confirm your worth. I needed the universe to constantly confirm that I know what I am doing. If I hadn't received a confirmation in several hours, then I was wanting to talk to someone to hear about their confirmations....and then I would feel better. If a day or two had gone by and I had not received a conformation, then I would start to doubt and my vibration would drop. the funny thing is, I didn't see what I was doing until last night.....back to the fear and excitement thought......When your affraid something is going to happen, it happens....your focus is totally in the the knowing that its going to happen. When your excited, your excited that something might happen, so it often does not. Your focus is not on the knowing, but the possibility of you being worthy enough for the exciting thing to happen. Once I understood this I drifted off into an amazing sleep.